Synthetic sugar and caffeine are both rushing through my blood along with the image of you calming down my storms as if you’re here -you will never be. Even my body refused to remain static , so I either do something harmful to end up all of this mess or walk my way back home.
I’m not brave enough to end up my years to count yet , so I chose to walk down the 45-minute-road , but I didn’t choose to pass by the nearly dead man laying on the burning solidified mixture he never desired to die upon.
” Did I require solitude or did it pick me up from those it hadn’t strengthened yet ? ” I wondered disregarding the process of my body responding to the long walk and to my non-sertoninized blood running through.
All the thoughts collided , at once without a warning , along with those flashing memories I’m haunted with.
If life is meant to teach us to stand tall by taking us away from the sight of those who made our hearts beat in a different pace -but chose not to beat back- I don’t want to learn this that way. I don’t want to stand tall.
Thank you , Take away what you’re trying to teach me.
If life is medusa turning my heart into a palm-sized stone that will no longer believe in the glimmering eyes I meet , Send my appreciation and respect for mythology. I want my heart back.
In the arms of those who love me and away from those I love , I’ll always surrender to life’s cursed lessons that will make me bleed in the middle of a crowd of those who will fool their eyes that they’d came by a small tree branch instead.
With a heart that pretends to be in a process of healing , I’ll throw away the fractures of the mirror you shattered , to which I never stopped looking at , walking down the solo road back home , and ready to go through all the battles I shall survive
, without the caffeine and sugar rush in my restless body
, without the same beat of my heart
, and without the tears I’m supposed to shed solely when everybody else is asleep
, laying there restless with the dissimilar heartbeat thinking about whoever else you shall no longer belong to.
Photo of the outstanding Anthony West and Josephine Vander Gucht “Oh Wonder”
I wrote this while listening to their songs , because they make up the lyrics along with the music all by themselves to take anybody’s breath away.